“You Have to Live”: The Transformational Power of One Minute
What if one minute could change everything?
That’s exactly what happened to my podcast guest this week, Allan Mouw—a licensed therapist, former Big Law attorney and longtime mindfulness practitioner—who joined me to talk about his journey through cancer, identity loss, and the healing power of stillness.
At one of his darkest points, Allan followed the guidance of his case counselor. He took off his shoes, sat down, set a timer for just one minute, and closed his eyes. In that moment of quiet, with a breeze coming through the open window and sunlight dancing across the floor, he heard a voice—his inner wisdom, the universe, whatever name you want to give it—say four words that would alter his life:
“You have to live.”
That moment cracked something open. It didn’t erase the pain. But it created a doorway back to possibility.
🙇 When You No Longer Recognize Yourself
Allan spoke about how, before cancer, he had been known primarily as a lawyer. That identity was strong—but when illness arrived, it shattered. And what emerged in its place was deep uncertainty, painful rumination, and a sense of being unmoored.
His words reminded me of how many of us go through these quiet identity collapses—some visible, others private:
Losing a job
Becoming a caregiver
Experiencing a breakup, a move, a diagnosis
Or simply waking up one day and realizing the version of ourselves we’ve been clinging to no longer fits
These moments can feel like disintegration. But with support, they can also become invitations—to realign, to listen inward, to begin again.
🌱 Mindfulness as a Lifeline
What helped Allan find his way back? Not a grand reinvention. Not toxic positivity.
But presence. Embodiment. Allowing himself to feel his feelings—without needing to fix or analyze them.
We spoke about the Viktor Frankl quote:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Mindfulness helped Allan find that space. Even when life felt unlivable. Even when suicidal ideation and trauma were present. And that’s the part I want everyone to hear:
Mindfulness isn’t about becoming calm or perfect. It’s about remembering, even in our hardest moments, that we still have agency. That we are not our thoughts. That each brand new, life-giving breath can be a gentle reminder that we can always begin again and that we can be really kind and compassionate towards ourselves along our mindfulness journey.
💬 Listen + Reflect
If you or someone you love is navigating a hard season of life—or if you’ve ever questioned who you are beyond your titles or accomplishments—I hope this episode brings you the same steadying, grounding clarity it brought me.
🎧 Listen on Spotify or 📺 Watch on YouTube
💭 What moment stood out for you? Hit reply or comment on LinkedIn—I’d love to hear.
And if you’re attending the Women’s Legal Summit next week, I’ll be diving deeper into these themes in my session Pause, Breathe, Lead. We’ll slow down, reconnect with what matters, and remember that who we are is not defined by productivity or performance.
🎟 Learn more here: https://bit.ly/43FFKeh
With care,
Courtney