The Transition No One Prepares You For: Midlife, Mindfulness And Feeling Like Yourself Again
Most women are told that perimenopause is about hot flashes and hormone shifts.
What we don’t talk about enough is everything else: The disorientation. The overwhelm. The quiet thought many women carry: I don’t feel like myself anymore… and I don’t know how to get back.
This week on Conscious Corner Podcast with Courtney, I sat down with psychotherapist and author Shonda Moralis, MSW, LCSW, and we explored what it really means to navigate the “messy middle” of midlife with awareness, compassion, and agency.
Here are a few of the gems that stayed with me:
🌡️ When Hot Flashes Meet the Second Arrow
Hot flashes aren’t just uncomfortable — they can be triggering, especially in high-stakes settings like courtrooms, meetings, or presentations.
As Shonda shared, mindfulness offers a way to soften the reactivity around them:
“The hot flash itself is unpleasant. But then we add the second arrow: ‘Everyone’s looking at me.’ ‘I’ve lost my train of thought.’ ‘This is so embarrassing.’
🦆 Perimenopausal Duck Syndrome: What’s Wrong with Me?
One of the most powerful moments of our conversation was when Shonda described what she calls perimenopausal duck syndrome:
“Above the surface, we look like we have it all together. Below the surface, we’re paddling for our lives.”
This transition is a full-body experience, and yet so many women feel like they’re navigating it in the dark. There’s still too much shame, silence, and misinformation.
And that’s exactly why conversations like this matter.
🪶 Support Looks Like 5 Minutes
Mindfulness doesn’t have to look like sitting in silence for 30 minutes a day (especially if you’re in the middle of school drop-off, a demanding job, or your third night in a row of poor sleep).
Sometimes, it’s 3 relaxing sighs before opening your inbox. Or giving yourself permission to not push through that bootcamp workout and take a slow walk instead.
“Five minutes can completely shift how we respond to ourselves and others,” Shonda said. “It’s not about fixing everything. It’s about easing the suffering just a little — so we can show up more fully for what’s here.”
👯 You’re Not Alone — Even If It Feels Like It
Midlife transitions — like perimenopause, career pivots, parenting teenagers, or shifting identities — can feel isolating. But you’re not the only one struggling beneath the surface.
Mindfulness can support us to be with what is.
It’s a tool that helps us show up more fully to our lives — especially the messy parts.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode
➡️ Spotify
📺 YouTube
💬 Has this phase of life surprised you too? I’d love to hear how you’ve been navigating it — or how mindfulness has helped you feel more like yourself again.
#MindfulTransitions #MidlifeWisdom #SelfCompassion #PerimenopauseSupport #MindfulnessForWomen #ConsciousCornerPodcast