What Happens to Us Under Pressure?

This week I had two very meaningful opportunities. One was with law students learning how to become better advocates. The other was with experienced attorneys working in one of the most demanding professional environments there is. On the surface, the conversations may seem different. But at their core, I taught many of the same skills.

In both sessions, we explored what happens inside of us when pressure rises, and how it can affect almost everything that happens next. How we think, listen, communicate, make decisions, relate to the people around us. And ultimately, how well we perform.

When Reactivity Gets in the Way

At Villanova University Charles Widger School of Law, I joined Professor Louis Hockman's Dispute Resolution class to explore the intersection of mindfulness and active listening. We examined something I experienced countless times during my nearly two decades as a litigator: we don't always listen as well as we think we do, especially when the stakes are high.

What happens when someone says something you disagree with?

Maybe you start formulating your response before they've finished speaking. You make assumptions about what they mean. You interject, become defensive, offer advice that wasn't solicited, or become so focused on making your point that you miss information sitting right in front of you.

And if we're not paying attention, we may not even realize it's happening.

Under pressure, we can fall into reactivity in a matter of moments. But the good news is that mindfulness can help us recognize our habitual patterns as they're happening. And with that awareness comes something incredibly valuable:

Choice.

We can't control how another person communicates or reacts. But we can learn to pause, center ourselves and choose how we want to respond. And when we change our response, we can change the dance.

This Isn't Just About Lawyers

Although both of my engagements happened to be within the legal profession this week, these patterns are human ones.

Pressure and reactivity show up in exam rooms, boardrooms, client meetings, negotiations and difficult conversations across virtually every profession.

For a physician, greater presence might mean hearing something in a patient's story that otherwise would have been missed.

For a mediator, it can mean creating enough space for someone to feel truly heard and uncovering what that person actually needs to move toward resolution.

For a financial professional, it might mean recognizing the fear underneath a client's reaction to financial uncertainty and responding with greater patience and clarity.

The setting changes. The underlying skills don't.

Awareness. Emotional regulation. Listening. Presence. Thoughtful communication.

These are human skills, and professional ones.

Sustainable Performance Doesn't Require Another Hour in Your Day

My other conversation this week was with Big Law attorneys at Mayer Brown.

These are professionals doing incredibly demanding work: long hours, high expectations, significant responsibility and constant demands on their attention.

And when someone's life already feels completely full, telling them they need to find another 30 or 60 minutes every day for “self-care” isn't always particularly helpful.

Fortunately, that's not the only way we build resilience.

A few intentional breaths before a difficult conversation.

Noticing tension in the body while reading an email that immediately triggers a reaction and inviting the muscles to soften.

Pausing to reconsider sending a contentious email.

Stepping away from the screen for a few minutes.

Giving our full attention to one task, instead of continually asking our brains to toggle among five.

Individually, these practices can seem small. But repeated throughout a demanding day, they add up in powerful ways.

They help us step out of autopilot and give our nervous systems opportunities to rest and recharge. Over time, that can influence how we focus, communicate, make decisions, manage reactivity and sustain ourselves through demanding work.

When we strengthen our ability to regulate ourselves under pressure, we strengthen our ability to perform well under pressure.

Sometimes the Practice Looks Like Movement

I was reminded of this during my recent conversation with Lauren Boggi on Conscious Corner Podcast with Courtney. Lauren shared how movement helped carry her through some extraordinarily difficult chapters of her life - not simply as exercise, but as a way to process what she was experiencing and keep moving forward.

It was a reminder that the practices that support us don't have to look one particular way. Sometimes it's a few relaxing sighs. Sometimes it's feeling the ground beneath our feet. Sometimes it's moving our bodies.

And sometimes, as I discovered trying to hold Dancer Pose this past weekend down the shore on soft sand, it's learning to find our center even when the ground beneath us feels a little unsteady.

Whatever the practice, we're strengthening our ability to notice what's happening and intentionally choose how we want to meet the moment we're in.

You can catch my whole conversation with Lauren now on YouTube and Spotify.

How Are You - or Your People - Performing Under Pressure?

This is at the heart of the work I do.

I help professionals, leaders and teams develop practical, evidence-based skills to navigate pressure with greater awareness, resilience and intention so they can communicate more effectively, make thoughtful decisions, manage reactivity and perform at a high level in ways that are sustainable.

And this work doesn't have to look one particular way, or require a huge investment of time.

It might be a 60-minute workshop/CLE, a multi-week program, a retreat or customized team experience. Or it might be working 1:1 with a professional or leader who wants support integrating these skills into the realities of their own life and work.

If you or your team are navigating demanding work and want practical tools to make it more manageable, effective and sustainable, I'd love to talk. You can schedule a complimentary 30-minute virtual conversation with me here to share what you're navigating and explore how I might best support you or your team.

What's Next: Ready by 2027

Speaking of supporting people at work, I'm also looking forward to my next program with my friend and colleague Shonda Moralis, MSW, LCSW.

Beginning January 1, 2027, Philadelphia's new workplace protections around menstruation, perimenopause and menopause introduced by Councilmember Nina Ahmad take effect.

On October 9 from 12-1:30 p.m. ET, Shonda and I will lead Ready by 2027: Understanding Philadelphia's New Workplace Protections, a 90-minute virtual training for HR, legal and organizational leaders.

Think of it as the essentials: what employers need to understand about the new requirements, along with practical ways to educate employees, strengthen workplace culture, support your people and retain experienced talent.

You can register here for our upcoming Ready by 2027 program. Hope to see you there!

Wishing you a smooth transition into the new season, and plenty of moments to find your center along the way.

Courtney