Making Space for What Matters
I recently had the pleasure of welcoming Dan Lukasik to Conscious Corner Podcast with Courtney.
Dan is a lawyer, law professor, mental health advocate, and the creator of Lawyers with Depression. During our conversation, we explored depression, burnout, loneliness, connection, and wellbeing in the legal profession. We also discussed his powerful PBS documentaries, My Brother Lost in Time: A Bipolar Life and Travels with George: A Journey Through Depression, Connection, and Friendship.
Dan shared something during our conversation that really hit home for me:
"When you're constantly jumping from one crisis and catastrophe to another, you don't stop and pause."
Earlier this week when I was in Key West, Florida for my first fly-fishing trip with my dad and brother I found myself reflecting on that statement.
And what I came to realize is the way in which mindfulness was woven all around and within the fishing trip.
It had actually begun many months earlier when I made the decision to go.
While it may seem like it was a simple decision, it really wasn't.
Like many people, my life is full in some of the most wonderful ways possible. My husband Joel Schulnick and our three sons are at the center of my world. I play an active role in my boys' lives, and my husband's work is incredibly demanding. When one of us steps away, it places a huge amount of responsibility on the other.
I'm deeply grateful to have such a supportive husband who held down the fort while I was away.
Even finding time beforehand to meet with my dad and practice casting felt challenging. There was always another commitment, another responsibility, another reason to put it off.
But because I paused long enough to recognize how much this experience mattered to me, I made the choice to go.
That's what mindfulness often looks like in real life.
Some imagine it as being about sitting in lotus on a meditation cushion in a quiet space with a clear mind where nobody interrupts you.
While that can be possible with the formal practice, mindfulness is really about informally weaving it into our lives so that we can take moments to pause and notice what matters and then with that awareness, respond with greater intentionality.
When I was in the boat on the water, I realized how much fly fishing felt like meditation.
To fish well, I had to pay attention.
I found myself taking in the sights around me, watching the birds, noticing the grassy areas, and looking for clues about where the fish might be.
I noticed the smell of the salty air.
The sound of tarpon splashing in the water.
The feel of the rod in my hands and the resistance of the fish as it pulled against the line.
The warmth of the sun.
The movement of the air.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, the creator of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, often says:
"The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness."
Being in water I understood that in a very real way.
But there was another lesson too.
After sharing my fishing experience on LinkedIn, Elder Law attorney Patrick Cawley commented:
"Fishing is also meditative in less pleasant circumstances when you catch a tree branch or a bush on your back cast and your line turns into a bird's nest. Stay in the moment and work it out. It's good practice for life."
I couldn't agree more.
Mindfulness isn't just about paying attention when things are going well.
It's about how we respond when they aren't.
The tangled fishing line.
The difficult conversation.
The opposing counsel email.
The unexpected setback.
The frustration.
The uncertainty.
It reminds me of Viktor Frankl's famous observation:
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response."
When we pause, we create that space.
And in that space, we can choose how we want to respond, rather than simply react.
I see this often in the legal profession.
Many attorneys spend their days thinking, planning, strategizing, solving, fixing, and preparing. Those are valuable skills. But sometimes we become so caught up in our heads that we lose touch with the information available through the body.
We worry about whether we're doing it right.
Whether we'll make a mistake.
Whether we're prepared enough.
Whether we're enough.
And before we realize it, we're no longer fully present for the experience unfolding in front of us.
We're trapped in our thoughts about it.
This brings me back to another observation Dan made during our conversation.
Underneath those dreams, he suggested, is often a deeper question:
"Am I happy?"
That's not just a question for lawyers.
It's a question for all of us.
But it's difficult to answer when we're moving so quickly that we never stop long enough to listen.
Perhaps that's one of the greatest gifts mindfulness offers.
Awareness.
Awareness helps us notice how we're living.
It helps us recognize what truly matters.
It helps us see when something is unsustainable.
And sometimes it helps us make a different choice.
For me, one of those choices was saying yes to a fishing trip with my dad and brother.
The fish were memorable.
But the time together was priceless.
Those are the moments that really count and make life that much more meaningful.
And I'm grateful I paused long enough to realize that.
If you'd like to learn more about Dan's work, his films, or the resources we discussed during the episode, I'll include them in the comments.
And if you'd like to listen to our full conversation, the episode is now available on YouTube and Spotify.