Beyond Thinking Our Way Through It

Earlier this week, Brian Quinn of LAWYERS CONCERNED FOR LAWYERS OF PENNSYLVANIA INC and I had the privilege of speaking with the Philadelphia Association of Defense Counsel about resilience, mindfulness, and the realities of practicing law. And one of the realities of practicing law that so many attorneys know all too well is stress.

We shared resources and tools that can enhance resilience and help us to be with challenge in a more skillful and nourishing way. But what I've learned in my mindfulness training is that resilience isn't built solely in the mind. It's built through our relationship with ourselves. And that relationship includes the connection between the mind and the body.

That was part of a recent conversation I had on my podcast with my longtime coach and friend, Holly Waters of Fitness Alive. For decades, Holly has helped people become stronger, more confident, and more comfortable in their bodies. She also helped me through some of the most stressful chapters of my own legal career.

When I was a practicing litigator, I spent much of my day doing what many attorneys do: analyzing, preparing, anticipating problems, and trying to stay several steps ahead. In many ways, I was so caught up in my head that, like so many professionals working in demanding, fast-paced, high-stress industries, I became increasingly disconnected from my body.

But mindfulness and movement helped me reconnect with myself. While they didn't eliminate the stressors in my life, they helped me notice where I was carrying tension, when I was exhausted, when I was running on fumes, when I was getting in my own way so-to-speak and when I needed support.

One of my favorite moments from my conversation with Holly came when I asked her what strength means to her now. Her response:

"Strength is knowledge."

Knowledge of your body.

Knowledge of your limits.

Knowledge of what you need in any given moment.

Not every day do we have the capacity to take on fifteen meetings. Not every day can we tackle ten projects. And pretending otherwise often comes at a cost.

Something else that Holly said that really resonated with me was when she spoke about learning to love what you do without overdoing it.I think that's a lesson many of us need to hear.

It goes without saying that high performers are going to put in long hours and a whole lot of energy into getting great outcomes for their teams, bosses, and clients. But for performance to be sustainable, it requires awareness.

Awareness of how we are in the body, mind, and heart.

Awareness of when we need to slow down and recharge ourselves.

There's a widely held misconception that meditation is just about feeling calm. While that's one of the many benefits that can be experienced with mindfulness practice, mindfulness is really about awareness and training our minds to pay attention in the present moment.

That's what allows us to receive vital cues from our bodies and to listen deeply - to ourselves, and to one another.

It's what helps us develop a deeper sense of self-trust.

The more we learn to notice our physical sensations, thoughts, emotions, and habitual patterns, the more skillfully we can respond to life's challenges, rather than simply react to them.

And that same quality of listening doesn't just strengthen our relationship with ourselves. It helps us show up more fully for others - as colleagues, leaders, advocates, friends, family members, and fellow human beings.

As I shared with the PADC community, we're not meant to carry it all alone.

Checking in with ourselves matters.

Checking in with one another matters, too.

The legal profession is stronger when we support one another and create space for honest conversations about stress, wellbeing, and what it means to thrive, not just survive, in demanding professions.

If your organization, team, firm, or professional community is looking for ways to support wellbeing, resilience, mindful communication, and sustainable performance, I'd love to connect.

In the meantime, I'd love to hear from you:

What helps you reconnect with yourself when life feels especially demanding?

And if you'd like to listen or watch my full conversation with Holly, it's available now on both YouTube and Spotify. Enjoy!