The Plate I Forgot to Set
I recently had the joy of speaking with Dr. Juliette Galbraith, MD and Dr. Tracy Levitt on Conscious Corner Podcast with Courtney. Julia and Tracy are physician coaches and co-founders of Physician Life Booster, where they support physician moms navigating the pressure of medicine and motherhood without burning themselves out.
During our conversation, Tracy named something that I think captures how little space many of us leave for ourselves. In demanding professional roles, we become so accustomed to taking care of everyone else that our own care slips to the bottom of the list.
She shared a simple, but powerful image - setting the dinner table for her family and realizing there was one less plate.
She had forgotten to set one for herself.
That image feels painfully familiar for so many high-achievers. Everyone is on the list. Except us.
Patients
Children
Partners
Clients
Colleagues
And beyond the visible tasks, there’s the invisible load - the calendar, the planning, the emotional holding, the constant hum in the background.
It’s exhausting.
When Perfection Becomes Protection
Julia shared something I see every single week in my work:
Perfectionism isn’t just about high standards. It’s more than that. It’s often a coping mechanism.
In medicine, the stakes are high. In law, it’s similar - a missed detail can feel catastrophic. So, vigilance becomes ingrained. And over time, it spills into parenting. Relationships. Daily life.
But the irony is that in trying to prevent future distress, we actually create anxiety in the present moment. Sometimes it even becomes paralyzing – we feel so afraid to get it wrong that we don’t begin at all. We fall into the trap of our minds - so busy perfecting mentally, that we never move forward.
I Lived This
When I was practicing law, I lived in that tension. At the office, I felt guilty for not being a good enough wife or mom. And then at home, I worried about deadlines and whether something was slipping through the cracks.
I was rarely fully present anywhere.
My job as a litigator in and of itself was demanding and inherently stressful. But I compounded my stress levels by striving for perfection and by criticizing myself whenever I felt I fell short. I knew in my body, mind and heart that living in that way wasn’t sustainable.
So, at the suggestion of my therapist, I enrolled in a mindfulness program. That’s when I started to see the pattern clearly. With mindfulness practice, I was better able to recognize the constant bracing. The mental rehearsing. The self-criticism. The way my nervous system rarely felt at rest.
I want to be fully transparent - mindfulness didn’t eliminate the stressors of my work or the demands of my personal life. But what it did offer me was an opportunity to understand and eventually change my relationship to them. It gave me tools to pause, regulate, and respond, instead of falling into perpetual reactivity. And overtime, with regular practice, I began to loosen the grip of perfectionism. As counterintuitive as it may seem, letting go of having to have everything be perfect is what allowed me to gain clarity and do some of my finest work in my 20-year career as a litigator.
That experience is what led me here.
What Mindfulness Changes
In the work that I do now as a mindfulness educator, I see this pattern across physicians, attorneys, executives, entrepreneurs - men and women alike.
Perfectionism feels protective. But often it’s fear in disguise. Mindfulness helps us notice:
The constant striving
The inner critic
The way we speak to ourselves when we believe we’ve fallen short
It creates space to ask: What is this pattern costing me? What would happen if I loosened my grip - even slightly?
Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean lowering standards. In fact, when we release the rigid need to get everything exactly right, we think more clearly, perform better, and reduce the self-inflicted suffering that comes from constant internal pressure.
That shift is a gift you can give yourself. And it’s available right now.
Why Support Matters
Julia and Tracy spoke about the power of group work - how women realize they are not alone when they hear someone else voice the same struggle. That shared humanity changes things. It made me think about the conversations I’ve been having with many of you lately.
Last week, I ran a poll asking what kind of support feels most helpful right now. The top response? A combination of 1:1 and group support.
If This Resonates
If you recognize yourself in this - the invisible load, the pressure to get it perfect, the constant internal hum - you don’t have to carry it alone.
You can work with me:
1:1 for personalized, confidential support
In small group programs where resilience grows through shared experience
Or through structured workplace mindfulness programming for your team
High standards aren’t the problem. Unrelenting self-criticism is. And that’s something we can work with.
If you’re navigating high expectations, leadership, caregiving, or simply the pressure of always being “on,” you don’t have to do it alone. If you’d like support for yourself or your team, I’d welcome the conversation.
And if you haven’t yet listened to the full episode with Juliette and Tracy, it’s now available on Spotify and YouTube.
Warmly,
Courtney